Bye (God IS Listening)

Gone again to the hidey spot

Dunno when I come back.

Love me? I'll see your texts/calls if you don't see mine within 24 hrs. :)

"

• Conversation started December 6, 2009
• 

  4:17am

  Briana VideoGirl

  stripper funny

  Bree's note - I didn't write this, ViolaStrings did but she no longer has a LiveJournal. I just saved it a while back.

  Dear Strip Club Patrons

  Dear Fat, Disgruntled, Middle Aged, Middle Management Fucktard with a Wicked Sense of Entitlement,

  
  

  Please remember to bring common courtesy along with more cash when you come to the strip club. I swear, some of you come in to be able to PAY to abuse and belittle women. You love a venue where you can criticize women who wouldn't even LOOK at you outside of the club, much less coo at you with greater adoration than of a new mother to her infant. You would be lucky to eat my farts in real life. Quit asking me if I really like you and if I'm only into you for your money. Do you ask a roofer if he's fixing your roof for the money or the love of roofing? No. Then quit asking me if I'm sexually and emotionally validating you for the fun of it. NO, I am not. I would not do this for free. You are at a strip club, not a regular bar or a church singles mixer. No one here is sincere. That's part of the hassle free anonymous transaction, lubricated by cash and fakeness. You signed up for this when you lied to your wife about where you were going, went to the ATM, changed clothes so she can't smell the smoke and vanilla body spray you're going to reak like in 30 minutes, and paid the cover fee at the door of this STRIP CLUB! Unless you want to cultivate a meaningful friendship with me in VIP (where I charge $500 an hour for my delightful company and great conversation), we are not friends. And when you say "So... what GOES ON in VIP?" I automatically know you're a cheap dumb ass who's never been back there in your life, which is my signal to move on to the next customer. I'll say things like "I'm onstage next!" or "I need to touch up my lipstick!" and never come back, that translates to "you're a tight fisted loser, go get an ugly hooker if you want a $20 BJ". Lots of guys are smart enough to know if you want the undivided attention of a stripper, you gotta pay up, son! Learn to be one of those guys or demand less from me.

  Quit asking dumb questions. Of course, the most common question is (while staring at my chest with the intensity of a laser) "Are those real?" FUCK YOU DUDE. THEY'RE FAKE, BUT YOUR BITCH TITS ARE PLENTY REAL ENOUGH FOR US BOTH. I'll usually respond "No, they're a figment of your imagination" or "Sorry, they're actually a mirage". I had some other middle aged sucker pay for them. If you don't pay for them, they're real! Men of all ages are such haters about breast implants. We all know for a fact that some of you look down on us or write us off because our breasts aren't "real", but then they make fun of the girls with natural big breasts for being "fat" or calling them "saggy" or those without them for being "flat chested". Hey, breasts are made of fat, what do you want from us?! Yo, ugmo, if we only had gorgeous skinny girls with real breasts working as strippers, then our work force would be reduced by about 95%, and would drive the cost of our services up astronomically (IE, you wouldn't be able to afford it). Your demand for $10 table dances (with a $1 tip if I'm lucky, like I'm a fucking waitress bringing your fat ass country fried steak and mashed potatoes swimming in gravy) has created the need to outfit ordinary girls with cyborg tits. You're never going to get the chance to touch them, so what's your problem?! If you're going to bitch and question me like it's the Spanish Inquisition, go home to your nagging shrew of a wife. She's 100% natural and as wet as the Sahara for your paunch and receding hairline (I can't blame her for not wanting to fuck you. Maybe if you spent as much time meeting her needs as you did here, she wouldn't be so unpleasant). Quit creating the demand for big tits, blonde hair, and pretty faces, then belittle girls for having bleached hair, breast implants and a nose job. We have them to better drain your wallet."