Some pics from some times :)
NOT.
Friday, May 31, 2013
Tuesday, May 28, 2013
Just A Song I Love...
"I sleep with windows open
I sleep with eyes wide
In case you would come walking
In case you change your mind
But don't strain yourself for me
Don't break yourself for me
* Don't lose your selfish ways for me *
I keep a leash around you
And I keep it nice and tight
In case you would go walking
Over forbidden lines
But don't go all soft on me
Don't come across for me
Don't lose your selfish ways over me
Un, deux, trois
Quatre, cinq, six
A hundred times around
You keep on flocking out
You keep me wanting more
Un, deux, trois
Quatre, cinq, six
A hundred times is fine
For you I go all blind
Oh my, where. is. my. mind?
I keep my window open
I keep it open wide
So keep me, keep it open
Oh, keep me on your mind..."
...
"Window Blues" by Lykke Li
Will I ever fucking sleep, eat, live, laugh, learn, feel, deal, or am I dying?
No. I just need to wake up tomorrow...
There is always tomorrow.
I sleep with eyes wide
In case you would come walking
In case you change your mind
But don't strain yourself for me
Don't break yourself for me
* Don't lose your selfish ways for me *
I keep a leash around you
And I keep it nice and tight
In case you would go walking
Over forbidden lines
But don't go all soft on me
Don't come across for me
Don't lose your selfish ways over me
Un, deux, trois
Quatre, cinq, six
A hundred times around
You keep on flocking out
You keep me wanting more
Un, deux, trois
Quatre, cinq, six
A hundred times is fine
For you I go all blind
Oh my, where. is. my. mind?
I keep my window open
I keep it open wide
So keep me, keep it open
Oh, keep me on your mind..."
...
"Window Blues" by Lykke Li
Will I ever fucking sleep, eat, live, laugh, learn, feel, deal, or am I dying?
No. I just need to wake up tomorrow...
There is always tomorrow.
Monday, May 27, 2013
Thoughts OUT LOUD
Honesty quickly changes to a bold faced lie in a matter of seconds. The grass is always greener...
No. IDK. It's time to Jazzersize!
Today... Lovely... What? Wait. I don't know.
Yes yes. No. Yes... then no. No... Idk. I do but... don't... ----
"I want to punch kittens." ~ Ryan Connor
OK Endramble here comes some cryptic point (does that even make sense, "cryptic point"... *shrug*) ~ That I probably won't remember making an "enigma" about or during writing it when I read back or IF I even do in another 5 - 10 yrs later during one of me "OMG I WAS SO BORED OF EVERYTHING AND CAN'T STOP LEARNING ABOUT MYSELF I CAN'T BELIEVE I JUST RE - DISCOVERED THIS BLOG AND *STILL* DON'T UNDERSTAND MYSELF (again)!" deal...
I SAW YOU.
Today... Lovely... What? Wait. I don't know.
Yes yes. No. Yes... then no. No... Idk. I do but... don't... ----
"I want to punch kittens." ~ Ryan Connor
OK Endramble here comes some cryptic point (does that even make sense, "cryptic point"... *shrug*) ~ That I probably won't remember making an "enigma" about or during writing it when I read back or IF I even do in another 5 - 10 yrs later during one of me "OMG I WAS SO BORED OF EVERYTHING AND CAN'T STOP LEARNING ABOUT MYSELF I CAN'T BELIEVE I JUST RE - DISCOVERED THIS BLOG AND *STILL* DON'T UNDERSTAND MYSELF (again)!" deal...
I SAW YOU.
I did, stand outside and watch you leave. Just not the whole time. I went inside more quickly than used to, and turned off the light. Now I know what didn't feel right... That's how it is when I've left your house many times... You looking at me like I'm crazy or just like yeah ok go now or something something IDK? Not that bad? Or is it? Nothing wrong with akward just... usually... it's always me making it that way ~~~ OK Off your high horse Bree someone can stab your vulnerable, damaged heart even worse esp. now that you've brought that to light to whoever's reading *HI FREAKS* ~
But yes. I went in right away and in the darkness stood of my front first hallway segment... I just waited for you to turn around, you may have seen. I was inside by then looking out the window clean. A quick glimpse from you I saw and you are not the "looking over your shoulder" type EVER. From what I've observed. Only took 7 years or whatever almost 7... fine 6 1/2 - to know you. OH And we did date, hence the phrase "WTF Do you know, did you date them? NO that DOES change everything so STFU!!!"
But yes. I went in right away and in the darkness stood of my front first hallway segment... I just waited for you to turn around, you may have seen. I was inside by then looking out the window clean. A quick glimpse from you I saw and you are not the "looking over your shoulder" type EVER. From what I've observed. Only took 7 years or whatever almost 7... fine 6 1/2 - to know you. OH And we did date, hence the phrase "WTF Do you know, did you date them? NO that DOES change everything so STFU!!!"
I can neither confirm nor deny if we saw each other, if it mattered, why why why oh why it matters I don't know... I would give my life to be human like Ellie Goulding right now. Help? Human emotions? Where did you go? I'm not crying and don't know if it's good or bad???
At least before, right before... you turned, you turned all the way around. And I watched you. Did we see each other, looking right at each other, both in secret down the block as you walked to your car? No conclusion. I'm sorry Aaliyah RIP but did you ever find an answer to that resolution song you wrote about? I know you're in Heaven and all but I really, really want my mom to ask you if it's not too much trouble. Actually you probably don't know since you never gave the answer but since it makes sense, In your honor and because I still question all of this... whatever
This" is nowadays between us sir.... I have to put the song down. Besides mom you'll tell me like you did with Joey Giovenco right?
...
Anyway.
AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT (THAN THAT LAST THOUGHT YOU READ! [SENTANCE!?])!
"We Need A Resolution (Funky Mix)"
Search Original if You Don't Like This One...
LYRICS:
At least before, right before... you turned, you turned all the way around. And I watched you. Did we see each other, looking right at each other, both in secret down the block as you walked to your car? No conclusion. I'm sorry Aaliyah RIP but did you ever find an answer to that resolution song you wrote about? I know you're in Heaven and all but I really, really want my mom to ask you if it's not too much trouble. Actually you probably don't know since you never gave the answer but since it makes sense, In your honor and because I still question all of this... whatever
This" is nowadays between us sir.... I have to put the song down. Besides mom you'll tell me like you did with Joey Giovenco right?
...
Anyway.
AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT (THAN THAT LAST THOUGHT YOU READ! [SENTANCE!?])!
"We Need A Resolution (Funky Mix)"
Search Original if You Don't Like This One...
LYRICS:
Did you sleep on the wrong side?
I'm catching a bad vibe
And it's contagious, What's the latest?
Speak your heart, Don't bite your tongue
Don't get it twisted, Don't misuse it
What's your problem?
Lets resolve it
We can solve it, What's the causes?
It's official, You got issues
I got issues, but I know I miss you
Am I supposed to change? Are you supposed to change?
Who should be hurt? Who should be blamed?
Am I supposed to change? Are you supposed to change?
Who should be hurt? Who should be ashamed?
Am I supposed to change? Are you supposed to change?
Who should be hurt? Will we remain?
You need a resolution, I need a resolution,
We need a resolution, We have so much confusion.
I want to know: Where were you last night?
I fell asleep on the couch, I thought we were going out
I want to know: Were your fingers broke?
If you had let me know, I wouldn't have put on my clothes
I want to know: Where'd you go instead?
Cause it was 4 in the morning, When you crept back in the bed
I want to know: What was in your head?
Or what was in my head? Am I supposed to change?
Am I supposed to change? Are you supposed to change?
Who should be hurt? Who should be blamed?
Am I supposed to change? Are you supposed to change?
Who should be hurt? Who should be ashamed?
Am I supposed to change? Are you supposed to change?
Who should be hurt? And will we remain?
You need a resolution, I need a resolution,
We need a resolution, We have so much confusion.
Am I supposed to change? Are you supposed to change?
Who should be hurt? and who should be blamed?
Am I supposed to change? Are you supposed to change?
Who should be hurt? Who should be ashamed?
Am I supposed to change? Are you supposed to change?
Who should be hurt? Will we remain?
You need a resolution, I need a resolution,
We need a resolution, We have so much confusion.
[Bridge - Aaliyah]
Baby let me know, You'll let me know (I will)
You'll let me know, You'll let me know (I will)
You'll let me know, You'll let me know (I will)
You'll let me know, You'll let me know (I will)
You'll let me know, You'll let me know (I will)
You'll let me know, You'll let me know (I will)
You'll let me know, You'll let me know (I will)
[Rap - Timbaland]
Girl holla!!
You give me bits and pieces
You tryna blame me when I don't even know the reason
I think it's just the season, Maybe the month, Maybe the building
Now tell me what's the reason? Snoop video? Looks are deceiving
So, cut the crying, Cut the coughing, Cut the weazing, Girl
Quit the blaming, Cut the naming, Cut the sleeping, Girl
I think you need some prayer, Better call the deacon, Girl
So, get your act right or else we won't be speaking, Girl
So, what's it gonna be? Freaky, freaky... Me and you?
Or is it gonna be who blames who?
I'm tired of these things, I'm tired of these scars
I think I'm gonna get me a drink, I'll call you tomorrow... :)
I'm catching a bad vibe
And it's contagious, What's the latest?
Speak your heart, Don't bite your tongue
Don't get it twisted, Don't misuse it
What's your problem?
Lets resolve it
We can solve it, What's the causes?
It's official, You got issues
I got issues, but I know I miss you
Am I supposed to change? Are you supposed to change?
Who should be hurt? Who should be blamed?
Am I supposed to change? Are you supposed to change?
Who should be hurt? Who should be ashamed?
Am I supposed to change? Are you supposed to change?
Who should be hurt? Will we remain?
You need a resolution, I need a resolution,
We need a resolution, We have so much confusion.
I want to know: Where were you last night?
I fell asleep on the couch, I thought we were going out
I want to know: Were your fingers broke?
If you had let me know, I wouldn't have put on my clothes
I want to know: Where'd you go instead?
Cause it was 4 in the morning, When you crept back in the bed
I want to know: What was in your head?
Or what was in my head? Am I supposed to change?
Am I supposed to change? Are you supposed to change?
Who should be hurt? Who should be blamed?
Am I supposed to change? Are you supposed to change?
Who should be hurt? Who should be ashamed?
Am I supposed to change? Are you supposed to change?
Who should be hurt? And will we remain?
You need a resolution, I need a resolution,
We need a resolution, We have so much confusion.
Am I supposed to change? Are you supposed to change?
Who should be hurt? and who should be blamed?
Am I supposed to change? Are you supposed to change?
Who should be hurt? Who should be ashamed?
Am I supposed to change? Are you supposed to change?
Who should be hurt? Will we remain?
You need a resolution, I need a resolution,
We need a resolution, We have so much confusion.
[Bridge - Aaliyah]
Baby let me know, You'll let me know (I will)
You'll let me know, You'll let me know (I will)
You'll let me know, You'll let me know (I will)
You'll let me know, You'll let me know (I will)
You'll let me know, You'll let me know (I will)
You'll let me know, You'll let me know (I will)
You'll let me know, You'll let me know (I will)
[Rap - Timbaland]
Girl holla!!
You give me bits and pieces
You tryna blame me when I don't even know the reason
I think it's just the season, Maybe the month, Maybe the building
Now tell me what's the reason? Snoop video? Looks are deceiving
So, cut the crying, Cut the coughing, Cut the weazing, Girl
Quit the blaming, Cut the naming, Cut the sleeping, Girl
I think you need some prayer, Better call the deacon, Girl
So, get your act right or else we won't be speaking, Girl
So, what's it gonna be? Freaky, freaky... Me and you?
Or is it gonna be who blames who?
I'm tired of these things, I'm tired of these scars
I think I'm gonna get me a drink, I'll call you tomorrow... :)
Thursday, May 23, 2013
Maybe... I'll Pull the Panic Cord?
I'm singing that fucking Panic Cord song... okay maybe not RIGHT here - but it looks like it heh. I am a ham huh? No... just extremely lonely and tired of careless brief lovers... and this pic is from the interview I did with "DJ Noface" as he referred to himself. He did not want his first name disclosed; yet well... you know I don't know his real name (first, yes, last, what?) SO I THINK. And he needs to please just back up off me because I need some space damn!!! I'm only forcing myself to write really do you not know this achually.............. BC I know I am filled with sickness that needs to be healed via writing. No one catch my Brainsick while reading, ok?
CHEKITOUT: Some stuff from going out with Kalea yesterday!!! I am pretty zonked. But just wanted to leave a lil something to look back on, I hate how I have to use like the last of my energy (but it's worth it).
CHEKITOUT: Some stuff from going out with Kalea yesterday!!! I am pretty zonked. But just wanted to leave a lil something to look back on, I hate how I have to use like the last of my energy (but it's worth it).
Yeah, they got married. :)
Drag Queens with Orange Dude and Nala for backup in case these stripper-Barbies try and run away from the 2 girl show they already got paid to upsell. *Shrug*??? ///YEAHYOUCANPOINTATMEI'MTHEINSANEGIRL
Ashes to ashes... fun to funky... you know Major Tom's a junkie...
I Worship Ludachrist
Ha... Half and half agree.
Oh no no no; many teenagers who are sheltered are... actually monsters!
I NEVER SAID IT WAS OK BUT
Yoshi is an album cover. Who is NOT a black cat. Thank you, Mr Guy..?
///yeahsothepussysfamoustoosowhat;)
///yeahsothepussysfamoustoosowhat;)
! - RAINBOW DAY - !
Fuck you, you're never gonna know the secret
We are sooo tired from walking around that day!!! We weren't trying to pout, swear.
Love attack <3 !
Just a cry for help in a world gone mad..
3Me
:)
Kalea and I are married, it's official.
She leaves me breathless hehe!!!
ACID? Noooooooooooooooooo
Tuesday, May 21, 2013
Weird Day.
Anyone else feel like, it's actually SCARY and lonely taking a shower while you're by yourself?
I am indeed lonely, not for anyone but just one person, the same person I've had hold back on me for years.
I am indeed lonely, not for anyone but just one person, the same person I've had hold back on me for years.
Whenever I get torn up over feelings... I can't help but freaking sit up and do nothing but BROOD over everything... You know.. It happens. It's the only way I can get stuff out of my system. I just feel like I am operating at the pace of confused child. OK well that was mean, since children are usually smarter than adults and should be. But really, I don't know how to be, exist, let alone simply comfort myself in a nice hot bath like I usually do. Love has destroyed me in every single way, with every man I've met and their affectionate ways along with monster like controlling ways... right now I'd say I have the ability to feel for another human and I can't even extend an arm to bc there's no one real even if I have company, it won't last. I can see it from a few people right now, I see right through it... In fact please, guys, for YOUR own safety you might want to STAY at an arms length.
So they call me a "serial monogamist" ~ I would agree accept... I am getting tired from falling in and out of love. It's confusing, and with EACH person I've loved, I've never stopped loving them. My arms will remain empty, my body untouched or held.. fuck yall. All yall.
"Nowadays people wanna talk like they got somethin' to say but nothin' comes out when they move their lips, just a bunch of jibberish
and motherfuckers act like they forgot about Bree?"
[ In the words of Dr Dre + Non-Dr Me. ].... . ....
You think you cool, you think I'm not?
So they call me a "serial monogamist" ~ I would agree accept... I am getting tired from falling in and out of love. It's confusing, and with EACH person I've loved, I've never stopped loving them. My arms will remain empty, my body untouched or held.. fuck yall. All yall.
"Nowadays people wanna talk like they got somethin' to say but nothin' comes out when they move their lips, just a bunch of jibberish
and motherfuckers act like they forgot about Bree?"
[ In the words of Dr Dre + Non-Dr Me. ].... . ....
You think you cool, you think I'm not?
Thursday, May 9, 2013
Tuesday, May 7, 2013
Cinco De Mayo/Stuff I Will Not Delve Into
I AM SO FREAKING GLAD I *HEARD* THE TRUTH FINALLY. It's not even an issue, you just made it one for a long time... Jesus
Uhmmmm I miss having a man... like... one I can count on
But then again, I love being
alone and not lonely ;)
Monday, May 6, 2013
Found it!!!!!!!!
Sometimes I'm a stone you skip aloft over a stream
Weightless for a moment then another sinking dream
Aim to please, shoot to kill arrow
Cut the sky razor blade sparrow
Tearing on a gust of wind just like a paper kite
Dodging needle treetops in the cold oncoming night
Aim to please, shoot to kill arrow
Cut the sky razor blade sparrow
Sew the rip cord on your homemade parachute
Sever all ties from your monkey suit
There is no doubt
There’s an outcome I can see
Where your time is running out
And my time belongs to me
Flap your arms enough my dear boy you’ll take flight
Soft alarms remind me I should
Bite right through the muzzle
Before I desist and cease
‘Cause I want to be a puzzle
Not a single puzzle piece
But I can’t see eye to eye with just a moment here or there
Sticking wings on concrete blocks to keep them in the air
Aim to please, shoot to kill arrow
Cut the sky razor blade sparrow
Aim to please, shoot to kill arrow
Cut the sky razor blade sparrow
Sunday, May 5, 2013
"High as hell, can't you tell?
But damn I'm just not high enough"
Today's waking time: around 6 45 pm
Today's plan: not brood about yesterday or any of this week's out of nowhere unfair treatment and I'm currently making the treatment outline of a short Cinco De Mayo film that will not be finished until later tonight.
Whatever it's all the same day to me!!! :P
I need to work out more... and I need to eat more, concentrate on the little things less, and try new work ethics ~ camming can be so unmotivating but it makes my dollars dammit and I pay taxes so I better keep the job for as long as my body is that of a teenagers (by BodyOfATeen you're not a teen you're a mean 40+ yr old lady leave Scott alone!@#$%^&)
...
Ahem. :)
There's my cue to go, please everyone know I don't need your stress and anxiety, I've got my own... OHHH BLITZQREIG BOP is playing on the radio, shit I can't get up and dance to it I need to 1. outline 2. shower 3. change wash 4. give a fuck about --- 5. check MFC 6. recharge electronic devices and wipe memory cards from all the *filming* again :D I'm sooooo happy I am making lil films again. So so so so happy. But I'm secretly, well not to secretly now, not VideoGirl anymore ~ CassetteGirl bc I love to record so much even Steve called me "hey, Briana Log girl". Lol. Well so?! Sometimes I f*cking should be wearing a wire I feel and well things ARE on tape that are a good thing to replay. I chose not to record people though most of the time. They always copy me and record me when I least expect it then when I'm unhappy about this, it get's thrown back in my face...
Please. Take your mind out of the [ ------ ] AND PLEASE. Find a soul will many of you, I noticed you have none...
OH and ps.
Happy Cinco De Mayo ;)
(SINK - O De Mayo!)
OH and ps.
Happy Cinco De Mayo ;)
(SINK - O De Mayo!)
*raises hand* I'm a soul!!! HEY!
HI! I'm flesh and blood as well, BOTH wow! Can you believe that I haven't given up yet?!
Saturday, May 4, 2013
Be Alone Not Lonely ?
I wish there was someone
anyone
who could just not be cruel and use me, and see me for who I am, and just... stop purposely hurting me. I know people aren't perfect, but I'm SO easy to hurt because my guilt began as a child
and never ends. I guess this is just my fate. I shouldn't have tried again to reconnect, I screwed up and let my guard down... hey... I was told in the very beginning I'm not a serious deal anyway, and look, here I am being treated like nothing important just as I was promised. Sooo joke is on me once again, and it's not funny.
I'm not laughing, but I'm not crying.
///////////be alone not lonely...
[ but it still hurts ]
Friday, May 3, 2013
Thursday, May 2, 2013
The Bad People
Bad people around
everywhere you go
pulling you down
letting you know
Letting you know -
no place is safe
no matter what you do
you'll never escape
Never escape
no chance to move on
bad people tell you
you are always wrong??
They come as friends
loved ones too
get in your head...
they're after you!
- Try not to listen
shout out the doubt
don't let them win
keep them out...
keep them out...
Random pix/song bloggie. :)
OBEDEAR ORIGINAL
[ PS: Did I mention that our city of Chicago was smoke/fog/black WHAAAA?! The other day, and my energy was !@#$%^ ! ~~~~ I was losing it. Pic courtesy of Nathan Hernandez ]
ONE OF THOSE NIGHTS
ONE OF THOSE NIGHTS
OBEDEAR REMIX AND DANCER FRIEND!
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