Okay... This is probably this saddest or worst I've been in a lil while... nothing is going the way I expected in the least. My fam is okay today, that makes me happy. But seems like I am always glued to the wrong f*cking people. Why. WHYYY. He doesn't love you Bree. Get it through your stupid fcking head. I have to pull it together, I can't even get up, this depression is killing me, and work website is down anyway... soooooo I'm just looking for free stuff or maybe a nice non-addict person I can have a good night with. I just want someone to pick me up and take me to the fucking movies after dinner and then maybe we can have a drink, and I'll go home. I've never even gone on a REAL date. I'm so sad... really like I've never even had anyone respect me in my lifetime, and I demand it bc I have dealt with so much I'm basically a fucking pushover, shit taking machine, thus a bipolar (not really, product of my environment still...) raging lunatic when it gets last straw. I'll probably even get too depressed to fucking go on a date if I find a nice guy. Who the hell wants a nice guy. The nice ones are never "nice" they're usually the most perverted, weird, asshole non-normal dudes not even getting into looks. I'm not superficial about how guys look... I love many people and have in my life of all diff kinds. This is me. A lover. But I've become a fighter since Oct of 2012 since too many people drag me into their personal hell. But if I didn't ever make certain choices it wouldn't have lead to that.
http://tinybuddha.com/blog/5-signs-youre-in-a-toxic-relationship/
