What A Day, What A Day E Ayyy...

"with any luck you'll wake up tomorrow and never remember this at all." ~ Scott Gale April 28th 2013

[these pix have NOTHING at all to do with the quote!]

I was alone in my house today, for longer than usual; when I woke up from a long "day" yesterday (no, not what you think, mind out of the ...... )
umm... annoyed. Headachey///maybe it was all those hillbilly herons zillz not sure (kidding, again ;) but I know I haven't felt so suitable to document in quite some time now in the form of communication, speed, expression, sentences, BLOG; etc... well I have to admit I got a little lost in my head for a few yrs in my time again, comes n goes or whatever. . and uh yeah I f*cking was alone in my room before I knew it without knowing. All impact came dramatic and left... rare form for people and their what is seemingly observed/seen for the usual proper usage for whatever they see fit in what exactly what lies within my "provided resources" arms reach ?

***WHAT ~ EVERRRRRRR!!!***

But one thing is for certain... It was some really messed up sh*t and too much. I felt like I was weak. Every room I walked into... in my own house.. was...

I mean I know it's been described as a labyrinth. But sh*t man I say a f*cking squiggly maze you can feel everything universal in energy, in, and the beings that were - yet through a time machine going warped speed... so like half there half

F_CKING. WHERE?!

Doesn't pertain to ya more than likely. Anyway. Scott knows what the deal is. Here I am, ready and waiting to do whatever the f*ck I wanna do. Yet I am not doing it, AGAIN. Being a hypocrite much? Yeah, I certainly am, always judging and "talking sh*t" for my position but well America did raise me... Amerika... FUCK YOU. Lol. No I'm not singing "f*ck yeah"... a bit sick of that.

Anyway it's just a shower and to walk to Walgreens. In the words of the Wise and Funny as Hell Ice Cube Gangsta Legend...

"I can't believe... today was a good day~!"

NO RLY. I fucking almost died earlier. No asterisk there buddy. Idk what. Channeled. This is a 116 yr old home. I have been born the girl of many spirits, aka spiritual, and hey... you don't like it? Go to Russia. Homer told me that and I never stopped listening to Homer after he said that in that Evil Homer Gabber song you know what, Homer Simpson gives some damned good advice sometimes! You should hear what he has to say about Jeebus! I mean Chelsea would appreciate that one! "He ain't nobody" LOL not about Jeebus. About someone else. So like...

Woah. ~~~~~~

I love when I talk to Chiyo when I'm ME and not bipolar
or... "too polar"
or bpd or mpd or or or --------

That's why whenever someone says she's weird, I just smile... ;)

Duh! Weird like her mum! =]

uhhhh yeah... so a party I gotta hurry up and get to, NOW!!! Bye ya'll, gotta get all prettied up and sh*t [not that anyone reads this shtuff or cares but ;]

. . .

 <3 

Hey









































We're having a party; it's called the Pinata that Lived!

PEACE

=^__^=

Me and Marc Broude

I deleted FB... YAYYY!!! It gave me the option to be searchable thru "graph" whatever and I freaked out ~  idk. I'm happy I went out last night w/ Marc who randomly went back here from Portland and invited me out to Spin with him :) Nice and full of gayness hehe. I like Spin's new stage... but I'm not trying to find anyone... I am happy that I may get to go to Cali soon and see Bobbie!!! <3 Now... I don't have a lot to say. I've been with myself again most the time. xo

You Can Love Me Or Not...

...But either way I gotta wake up to face another day, tomorrow morning...

DubFX "Love Me or Not" Lyrics :)

Scratchedee--------------------!

I miss these times, this was a few yrs ago at Congress <3

the Pink Monkey!!! Love you Rosalio Garcia!

Everyone FUCK OFF RIGHT NOW THANKS :)

Nuff said. Or grab a beer. GOODNIGHT. :)

!!!

<3 omg.

4/21/2013

I have a cold, nose won't stop itching...

I'm having PMS really bad that's making me just not happy with someone... I don't know. The lies have always been lies with this person and they know it. Fucking liars. The gullible ones are the ones who don't know any better then STOP. BOMB. Destroyed. You woke up the demon in me, the devil, in 2008... I can barely function now AND I still... UGH WHATEVER

Here's the pics I meant to post earier, but Blogger is weird. <3 Night... 

The Candy from 4 20 and my bracelets landed on my mixer. 4 20 was marvelous...!!!
＼（＾ ＾）／

Good morning 4/21/2013 ... I'M STILL ALIVE!!!

    A lil picture I made for Nathan.

My bro and his first time @ Spin Chicago for the Shower Contest with new friend Vanessa :) Ohhh my freshly turned 21 year old lil broham, you're my bff!!!

I say the strangest things... like my underwear? :]

I would LOVE this and this apt. OMG

The Illinois Masonic Art Therapy from the Psych Ward Bracelet I gave Joe, and the Hookah Mango vapor cig he brought over. I miss him... WTF?!



...

Hmm. Absolutely know ideas ;)

MC DJ ARTIST WRITER SINGER ENTERTAINER

＼（－－）／ マイッタ
I drew this one day. Jeremy really makes me upset sometimes... but it was all in good fun... kinda

Hehehe... I do miss old crazy SUPER outspoken me...

Doodles.

Just watch. 

ｵ(･ｪ･)ﾔ(･ｪ-)ｽ(-ｪ･)ﾐ(-ｪ-)｡o○Zzz…

Today and yesterday

I am still alive! Although I'm busy ~ was out having an awesome walk in the sun/slightly cold weather outside and stayed out... as it got warmed up more, still cold - but better! Felt refreshing even though I was still kind chilly. I walked up and down Lawrence from 5 am to 7 or 8; sun was just coming out when I walked there. Fell asleep... not long after getting back home on foot, surprisingly ;) observing strippers leave the Admiral (what a funny concept... hehe ~ I'm a weirdo!) ...custie who left there I see get his ass whooped next to a cab in the middle of the street as I walk up to the place. I know they were goofing off, some perhaps drunk or just dumb yuppie mid thirty lookin' dudes were all riled up and the cabbie was doing nothing ha ~ ! Take it like this please; I wasn't working, just felt like walking there... VideoGirl is my name for a reason, I film in my head and people watch. :) Therefore; I AM not *I WILL NEVER* strip again (but not like I should have to answer to anyone either I guess)

I wouldn't...

Unless...

the staff peeps working Stilettos TX were cool, and they bring me down there for real and just but Ram quits actin like Snoop Lion (lyin~!!). It hasn't been each time he's said so since 20 - 2011 when I lived there and moved back home n asked...

Also ~ They'd have to be super nice to me, though. Which Ram hasn't been booooo!!! :( He used to say I'll fly you down anytime to work and now.... since twice in Spring/Summer 08', and also, when I went back in 2010 to live for a bit... AND WORKED 6 days a week EACH TIME... Even the last time when I lived there for 2 months... I worked 6 days a week man!!!!!!! I want the hotels, condos, and beach rewards tho so baaad! :(

Thinking about this is irkin' me and I got shit to do: HAPPY BIRTHDAY SYLVIA! I'm sluttin' it up, just for you!!! We'll take pics <3

BYEEEEE!@#$%^&1

=^__^=

Old Poem !

"Untitled"

"Deepest brown your eyes

crystal clear they see right through

the window of my mind, revealing everything I do.

The color of your love, my favorite shade this deepest hue..

It haunts me in the day,

and lingers in the night time too.

Porceline your frame, fragile like the faintest thing,

once again I dream 

of you the angel, without wings.

You found me in the night

as I found you silently..

standing on your cloud, heart in hand for all to see.

You were a wingless angel, leaving me with just a trace

and flew away so soon, glitter left upon my face. . ."

Day 1 ~ 4 20

So... I woke at 9 pm tonight. Usual bullshit time that I get up at lately. It's not warm outside yet like Spring should be, and I'm lately getting into more and more arguments and bs than ever in my life. My computer's been tampered with so much, all 3 of them... I feel like I can't even trust them or what I write or when I work. I dunno. I miss having a "boyfriend" or real man. All I've encountered are people that aren't serious it seems, and sell substances and that basically makes them the person they are. I've been serious with people who dealt drugs and that didn't make them who they were, it's just I guess anyone I've met really is not serious. Working in the Adult Industry I must say not many men take me seriously, and many girls I like I may be too forward with or have problems getting to like me back? I have bad luck, bad magnetism... And I can't seem to make staying in psych wards the opposite of annual if not more.  My diagnoses (diagnonsense as Lisa from the movie "Girl, Interrupted" would say) ~ hyperverbal, hyperartistic, anxiety, depression, bipolar, delusional, responsive to internal stimuli, PTSD, a high functioner, manic, cooperative, enjoys isolation, OCD, experiences hallucinations and shows signs of drug induced/previous abuse psychosis and addictive traits. Drug addiction issues extensively listed...

BLABLABLA! And what makes me me, is the product I am from my environment so you psychologists and psychiatrists n Drs can just shove that shit up your ass. The city of Chicago is angry, and from Cops to Hospitals/Healthcare ~ they are no longer doing their jobs correctly because I was released March 27th as "RECOVERED" after 1 week of all these problems that have been going on for 5 years. ARE YOU KIDDING. You're the reason I do drugs! All your lies! The only people working in these places are sickos, what did they wake up one day and decide they wanted to help people terminally ill, mentally ill, in prison, etc?! I don't know. But I do know I'm disrespected on a daily basis for being me and all I seem to be is a pushover who is outspoken and very easy... Just a natural human being with an extra bit of kindness. Oh and maybe I look decent too, and am often confused as crazy/paranoid delusional when really they're a bit intertwined and it's not delusional it's INTUITIVE. No one listens to my advice really, maybe just a little and that being SOMETIMES, but I'm just listed in their books as a wack on drugs. Either way the Docs would have me on something so I can't win. But it's not about winning, I just want to stay alive here, and what's scaring me is the fact I'm becoming more and more isolated and apathetic towards the world... I just want some normalcy back. Just a little. And there's not much I can do except all the millions of hobbies I have... there's just not enough you can do as a tortured soul sometimes. Oh well, life goes on. Guess I'll just have to go it alone!

////////////////HERE.WHERE.I.HAVE.ENDED.UP.